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First love, life with _198
The impulse is a devil in this gloomy afternoon ,listening to her and say the word ,also followed my heart twitched ,yes ,all dreams have become the past, everything becomes a reality ,no turning back ,also cannot abandon .
Although very tired ,although the heart has been broken, but his choice of road ,kneels must also walk him, looking at her eyes filled with tears ,listening to her heart ,my nose acid ,want to cry ,want to take her to his chest ,to accompany her to have a good cry .
I know ,she is very tired ,not tired of life, but because of who I am when feeling tired ,she said ,if time can turn the clock back ,she brave face ,not escape ,his own life so cheap to sell ,hurt others ,but also their suffering .
This is her pain of cutting one ,her life to be unable to choose ,but now back to have a look ,it is so not worth mentioning ,but at that moment ,the field that scene for simple but she is like the sky is falling .
It happened in nine eight years ,she had just graduated from reading ,at home to await job assignment ,so she often went to her father play ,that lonely ,poor schools ,a few farmers like old teacher like her daughter dearly ,yes ,in the silent ,a bit old ,ragged school so a as pretty as a flower ,will dance and sing the trendy girl ,which doesn ,which doesn !Only a young man ,tall ,handsome ,is a local ,but she was two years old, one day in the past ,imperceptibly ,they fall in love, very pure very pure love ,no handle ,no kissing ,but really in love ,because he ,she felt that lonely Komura Yoshimi ,no TV to watch the night is very beautiful ;because of him, she felt the school gate Creek good comfort ,good clean water ,she will be with him in creeks with shrimp and cheerful tread ,she likes to sit in the stream gurgling sound of water listen quietly to him ;because of he ,ragged bedroom becomes so brilliant and warm ,they always have lots to talk about ,V.
endless thoughts ;because he ,traffic inconvenience path has become so sweet ,they can stand side by side, or the one before and one after the walk a few miles to the station to get to the town bus ,meets the road condition is not good, he will gently helped her ,her heartbeat ,she is shy ,then they are a pair of young boys and girls ,no material requirements ,no background demanding ,so the pure love ,love .
.. ... Because she was two years old ,his ignorance of the mother to go to school the whole school shout abuse her base ,shame on you ... ... What terrible words ,she felt embarrassed ,her father also feel lift head ,in her full democracy ,warm family was so insulted when her father ,her mother angry ,sad ,she felt that was burning shame and humiliation ,the occlusion of the village at a draught .
Raise a Babel of criticism of ,that year she is 23 years old ,she like the wrong child fled the same left there ... ... Sad ,pain ,anger ,struggling with her ,she was tortured ,she was wrapped tightly ,on pain of torture themselves ,not to give him a chance to explain ,also do not want to give myself a chance .
A few months later ,the implementation of the work, she returned to work, the first love pain in her heart deeply taken root ,she no longer believe in love ,no longer look forward to the future ,she refused all the boys love .
.. ... That way I don she walked how tired, how hard !The downhearted degree how deep? At the age of 28 ,she is still a person ,from then on ,she never in love, never heartbeat ,not her best ,she is very beautiful ,very gentle ,but her heart tied with a string, does not want to touch ,also cannot touch ,she was afraid to touch broken ,broken heart broken .
Mother skinny ,father was silent ,sister to see her again and again, each time she about to speak, but saying nothing ,she know ,their fear and frustration .For parents ,in order to family ,she can have ,she wanted to get married ,the marriage is not for their own node ,but also for them ,can not let them in the village to hear the groundless talk ,let him know that she hasn come out from the shadows ,he or she can touch the heart of the wound .
.. ... She married, from understanding to had not been married two months ,she didn him, she just want to find a can let her hiding place .Married life is worse than expected ,husband does not strive for to progress ,progress, the life is slack, every indulge in gambling, from her maiden girl became the pillar, child care ,fuel ,traditional code of conduct ,she will do everything Judao ,mind .
Ten years passed ,she said ,that she can endure, most let her unbearable is the bed thing ,she is afraid of her ,she shivered ,she said that she didn love marriage is not passion ,each forced sexual intercourse after she spits to death ,for her husband is very at ease ,said threw her into man caboodle ,like her frigidity woman won having an affair .
Is it right? Or sex, only she knows ,a few years ago, she often thought of divorce ,but the secular, the child ,let her and step back ,dare not to .Through these ,she deeply sighed ,seem to feel a sense of relief ,unload the burden ,in fact we often sit together chatting ,but never talk about the past ,I never thought of it on her life so much influence .
Impulse is the devil, this is my be keenly aware of ,but I know too late ,my life has completely sold out ,do not care !Do not care !For the son, kneel also should take him to walk .I have never ,never regret once the love ,that is my only one true love ,really ,is very pure very pure love .
.. ... She again said ,I don ?I advised her ,live so tired ,away from it, but still suppress their own did not say that ,yes ,there are a lot of kinds of marriage ,for the sake of that responsibility and quite strong ,also not good ,at least she has relieved ,heart will calm ,then the sunshine of life will be brilliant . |
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